Support for the Family Family and friends also experience a range of emotions. They too share the shock and disbelief, the feelings of unfairness and anger and the overwhelming sense of helplessness to change the course of events. In some instances, there may also be a sense of relief that the suffering and struggle is nearly over or relief that death brings an end to a troubled relationship. In turn, some feel guilt for holding those feelings of wanting things to be over quickly.
Loved ones will experience their own concerns about the future. There is a sense of their world suddenly being changed so that it will never be the same again, and a fear about how they will face the challenge of managing alone. The world without their spouse or parent or child is impossible to imagine. There is an overwhelming sense of dread and despair, an emerging sense of profound loss. It is difficult to concentrate or focus. Suddenly all one's priorities have shifted and the world seems turned upside down.
For some people, the time they have together can strengthen their relationship and create lasting memories. There is time to share, in a deep and profound way, what their lives together have meant. There is time to talk about the past and to make plans together. Such discussion could cover plans and dreams for children's futures, what to do about the house, what to do with finances, what the funeral should be like or what should happen to the body. Not all people will be able to discuss these topics easily and may need assistance in doing so. Nurses, social workers, chaplains, psychologists and palliative care volunteers may be called upon for help.
It is helpful to remember to focus on life and living until death comes. People need to live until they die. Celebrations and life pleasures are still there to be enjoyed, to be shared. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations and achievements offer time for families to gather and to affirm life.
